Hudson Valley Astrologer

My last drink was in the summer of 1994. I remember coveting the leftover champagne from the wedding a little more than “normal.” It was boxed and put away in the kitchen pantry. But I developed this craving, an irresistible attraction really, like “she” was some bubbly blonde in a bottle, lust personified, hidden away in the closet. “She” was “safe” and “my little secret” but only so long as I didn’t tell anyone.

Alcohol has always been the center of attention in my family and no family tradition could be possible if there wasn’t some booze to pour. My tribe is complete with some big personalities, many of whom themselves need to be the center of attention. The only trouble is that the spotlight is already on the beverage of choice, and as time progresses, either in terms of the generations passing the torch, or on a shorter timeline linked to how long it takes before someone feels compelled to “dance on the table,” people become more and more detached, and the alcohol more and more in charge, unwilling to share the stage.

The chain of custody for the “drinking gene” ** is a long and winding road that began in Ireland in my case. Uncles, aunts, and a wayward father, all shared one thing in common, a propensity to laugh loud and hard in the face of adversity and to drink. But for some, imbibing became more than a ritual, it became problematic. Siblings and cousins soon enough learned to laugh loud and hard in the face of adversity and to drink. Today you might hear the children, our nieces and nephews, egging one another on, to laugh long and hard in the face of even greater adversity, and to drink even more than their parents. Their parents, if thy are still partaking, have resorted to blithering and bloating about like Brick, the cornerstone of alcoholism in American literature.

Alcohol is patient. It doesn’t want to share the lime light, it steals it! But as the Tennessee Williams character suggests, there is a built in hypocrisy in all the “partying” that drowns out and saturates the lines of communication to the point of disillusionment, the lines snap, we become detached.

“Mendacity is a system that we live in. Liquor is one way out an’ death’s the other” *

~ A Streetcar Named Desire

~ Tennessee Williams

Away from family traditions, in sober moments, when communication is kindled by a deep connection and quiet, sincere, heartfelt discussions, there is no spotlight. Maybe there is a cup of coffee, and the warm low glow of candlelight. Ideally, there might also be a natal chart guiding the discussion, but in no way necessary. What is present, in this new tradition, is the intimacy of truth, an honest interest in the lived experience of the other person, where mendacity melts under the scrutiny of sincerity, and personal relationships flourish.

* Williams, Tennessee. A Streetcar Named Desire. New York, Signet, 1974

** There is no single *drinking gene* identified, but genetics significantly influences alcohol use disorder (AUD). Genes like ADH1B and ALDH2 are linked to alcohol metabolism, and studies suggest that genes can account for between 40% to 60% of the risk of AUD. More than 400 genetic markers have been identified as being linked to having an increased genetic predisposition and risk to AUD but environmental factors related to lifestyle are also important.